Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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