lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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