I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just threw up on my dentist
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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