I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
