You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
