How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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