K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
