508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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