one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
