Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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