i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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