she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize