Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
