Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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