i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
