then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
