I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
