I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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