i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.