She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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