So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
