You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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