Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
