I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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