Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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