my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
