i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
