No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
