I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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