I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
