Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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