so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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