omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
