i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
