just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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