I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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