Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
