I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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