Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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