great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
