What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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