Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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