i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I think people are normalizing furries
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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