so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
