:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
