I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
