So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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