OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
