Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
