I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize