Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
