I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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