Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
