We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
